To Love a Fierce Gentle Soul
by raglanwriter
Summary: Booth talks to Brennan about his father and she helps him heal old emotional wounds.


**To Love a Fierce Gentle Soul**

Disclaimer: Booth and Brennan do not belong to me, but this little version of their world does.

Brennan knew that something was wrong. It was true that with most people, she would never have picked up on the subtleties, but with Booth she could see them. The slight tension in his jaw and the tightness in his neck were all signs of trouble. When he leaned over the case file, the muscles in his back were clenched in a way that would cause him pain later. All these signs coupled with the shadowy darkness of his eyes told her that he was troubled. Normally, when they worked together on case files over takeout food in her apartment, the mood was light and Booth generally teased her about a variety of things, including her tendency to steal all the spring rolls. Tonight, he was quiet and seemed fully focused on the work- only someone who knew him as well as she did would have understood that his apparent concentration was a mask to camouflage some kind of internal turmoil.

"Booth," her voice was unusually quiet, "is everything alright?"

Booth glanced up at her and seeing the worry in her expression, he laid his pen down and leaned back against the cushions of the chair. She could see the hesitation and leaned forward to place her hand on his thigh as a gesture of encouragement. Booth stared down at the spot on his leg where her palm rested and instead of answering her, he picked up her hand and held it in his own. He seemed to study their entwined fingers and Brennan wondered if he was going to respond at all, when at last he looked back up into her eyes and sighed, giving her a signal that he was about to speak.

"I just have some things on my mind Bones," he gave her a half-hearted smile. "I'll be fine."

"Parker is okay isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's great," Booth's tone was warm and he squeezed her hand, touched by her obvious affection for his son.

"Is it anything you want to talk about?"

"I just had a call from my dad this week and he said some things that have been bothering me. Once I sort it out, I'll tell you about it," Booth tried to sound cheerful, but Brennan could sense profound sorrow in his voice.

"Can I ask you something about your father?" Brennan was cautious, knowing this could be dangerous territory. Booth looked into her eyes for a minute, and finding only honest concern, he nodded. "When we were learning the truth about my parents, I asked you about your father and you told me that you love him, but it seems like your relationship with him is troubled. I just want to understand how you can love someone who has obviously hurt you- and continues to do so."

Booth cast his eyes back down to their joined hands and sighed. The moments ticked by while he remained lost in reflection and Brennan continued to wait, patient in her desire to know more about her partner's past. When Booth finally lifted his head again, she inhaled sharply at the sight of tears running down his cheeks. Quickly she moved to grab hold of his other hand in hers and held tightly in an attempt to reassure him. The sad smile he gave her in reply almost broke her heart and she felt her own eyes begin to sting. When Booth started to speak, she moved even closer to him so that he could talk quietly around the thickness of tears.

"I do love my dad Bones, just like you love yours- even though they have both done some things that we might wish they hadn't. The difference is that I don't like my father because he is actually a pretty horrible person some times. I still love him because, I mean, he's my dad right?" Brennan nodded her understanding of this conflict he felt. "When I was a kid, nothing I ever did was good enough for him. I tried so hard to make him proud of me, but it never worked. Even when I joined the army, I thought maybe he'd be happy that I was sort of following in his footsteps in the military, but he just told that I'd never measure up to his accomplishments. He drank too, which made things even worse because sometimes he was just so goddamned mean- it was worse than if he'd hit me you know?"

Booth paused and drew a long, shuddering breath and Brennan remained silent, knowing that he needed time to pause in the midst of this painful declaration. They sat together quietly in the growing darkness of her living room until she finally spoke again, careful to keep her voice gentle so that Booth would not mistake her question as an accusation.

"What about your mother?"

Booth looked away and appeared to seek answers in the picture above her fireplace. His eyes blinked rapidly and he continued to stare at the wall while he spoke.

"She tried for a long time, but I think it was just too hard for her. When I was ten, she left and I didn't really see her much after that. I don't blame her for going because he was not an easy man to live with- I just wish…" his voice trailed off.

"That she had taken you with her?" Brennan asked tenderly. Booth nodded and she heard the sob escape his throat. It was her cue to close the remaining space between them and she released his hands to climb into his lap. She did not even think about what she was doing, merely crawled up and held his head against his chest as he cried. Even when he quieted, she kept her arms wrapped around him and pressed her lips to the top of his head. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she understood on some level that it was not her that could help heal this particular wound. She could offer him support and would make sure he knew that none of this changed her feelings for him, but the damage done by his father could only begin to be repaired by a father. So, as she sat with Booth into the night, a plan formed in her mind and the next day she called someone who she knew would want to help her- and she also knew he would want to help Booth.

The gym was practically empty when Max entered to see Booth swinging hard punches at the heavy bag in the corner. Every connection sent a thud echoing through the room and Max flinched at the viciousness with which the bag was swaying back and forth. It was clear that the physical exertion was some type of therapeutic release for the demons that Booth harboured inside- and if Max knew about one thing, it was demons. He approached the corner and cleared his throat. When Booth made a startled turn in his direction, his arm continued to follow through on the punch he had been throwing when Max interrupted and his fist grazed past the older man's left cheek.

"Geez Booth, I thought we were past that," Max tried a lighthearted opening to the conversation.

"What do you want Max?" Booth's voice was a weary sigh, with an edge of something else underneath which Max recognized as suspicion.

"Just wanted to stop by and see how you are- haven't seen you around the lab much lately."

Booth narrowed his eyes and studied Max for a moment as if trying to assess the situation and determine his best reply. "Did Bones send you to find me?"

"Well, of course she did," Max snorted. "What do you think that I follow you around?"

Booth didn't respond. He leaned over to grab his water bottle and continued to regard Max while taking a long swallow. Max watched him and suddenly felt overcome with sadness that this young man was so uncertain he could trust anyone. He reminded Max of Tempe in that way- so scarred by things that had happened to them so long ago. It was no wonder they had found each other.

"She's worried about you," Max's tone grew more serious. "Worried enough to send me to find you."

"Nothing to worry about- just needed a bit of time with some things."

"Booth- listen, she told me a bit about your dad," Max saw Booth's eyes darken and rushed to continue. "She didn't betray any confidences Booth, just let me know that maybe there was some tough history there for you. No details."

"So what- you're here to give me advice on good parental relationships?" Booth's question was a sarcastic one. Max knew it was meant to hurt him and persuade him to leave the situation alone.

"Fair shot Booth. I'm not the world's best father and I have lots of work to do with Tempe, but I'm trying. I get the feeling your dad never tried very hard for you and I'm sorry for that."

Booth turned his back and took another swig of water. Max moved around so that they were face to face once again and waited until Booth looked back up into his eyes before he continued.

"Listen Booth, I think you and I understand each other right? You know I've done some regrettable things in my life, but you understand why I did them- you figure I'm a pretty honourable guy, I think?" Booth nodded his agreement with that assessment. "Alright, so, considering that, I want you to listen to what I'm going to say- and I mean really listen. I see what kind of man you are. I see how much you've done for my daughter and how much you mean to her. Even if I couldn't see for myself, I know that Tempe does not give respect or love lightly, and I know she has both for you." At the mention of love, Booth's eyes shifted back down to the floor. "Are you still listening?"

Max waited again, knowing that brutal honesty about Tempe's relationship with this man was something from which they both still hid themselves. He knew that it was a risk to throw the word love into the conversation, but he was honest about matters of the heart and figured it was worth taking the chance to get through to Booth. When the younger man's eyes met his again, he continued.

"You are a good man and a loyal friend. You are kind hearted and protective- you sacrifice for the people you love. You're a good father. I've seen you with that little boy and he knows what a hero his daddy is. If your father isn't proud of you, then he can't see what the rest of the world sees- and he's blind Booth. As a father, I can tell you that I'm proud to have you as part of my family- because that's what you are Booth- what you mean to Tempe makes you part of our family and I want you to know that I'm thrilled to be able to have you as a son."

Max finished his speech and let the words sink to the floor between the two of them. He could see Booth processing the things he has said, along with the implication that went along with his mention of Tempe and thinking of Booth as a son. Max figured he might as well plant that seed since he has already mentioned love! Booth lowered his head again and Max reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you ever forget that you have people who love you Booth. People who know who you are and who cherish your presence in their lives. That kind of love should make any man proud- it's the greatest accomplishment." With that final thought, Max turned and walked away. As he exited the gym, he turned back for a last look at Booth still standing with his head bowed, lost in thought.

Two hours later, Booth entered the Jeffersonian which was quiet and largely deserted due to the late hour. He nodded to the night clerk on the desk and made his way towards the lab. The only light still on was in Bones' office and he made his way by memory through the darkened hallways to her door. He paused in the shadows to watch her. Leaning towards her computer, the monitor's screen making her skin even more translucent, her hair loose and her eyes intent on the document she was working on. Booth knew he had never seen anyone more beautiful. He waited a moment longer, knowing from the concentrated frown on her face that she was only a moment away from taking a break. As predicted, within seconds, she leaned back in her chair and brought her hands to her face to gently rub her eyes. He stepped forward and knocked lightly on the open door. When she dropped her hands to look at him, he saw tiredness in her face that he suspected was caused by her worrying for him these last few days.

"Hey Bones- working late again?"

"Just finishing up some notes on the case before I leave for the night," her tone was indulgent since this argument about her working too late was a familiar one between them. Booth could tell she wanted to ask if Max had been over to see him, but she was carefully restraining herself from pushing him.

"Max came by to see me awhile ago," Booth took a few steps into the room and leaned against her desk as he spoke.

"I know," her voice was quiet and Booth realized she was worried that he was angry.

"Thanks for sending him. We had a good talk- and he had some really nice things to say."

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't doubt yourself Booth. I just needed someone to remind you that it is other people who have let you down, not the other way around."

"Consider me reminded," he accompanied the statement with his patented charming smile. "So, apparently Max thinks of me as a son- he says I'm part of the family."

"Well Booth, you told me once that there is more than one kind of family," she reminded him gently. "And I'm happy that you decided to be part of mine."

There was a long moment of silence while Booth looked into her eyes and wondered about what the future would hold for this strange new family he had found. Then he decided that all that mattered was that he could think about the future instead of living in the past. He had known for a long time that Temperance Brennan had been a blessing that enriched his life, but days like today made him realize just how fortunate he was to have her. She gave him hope about so many things – and today she had given him back a sense of belonging and safety that he has lacked since his childhood.

"How about you and I go out for a family dinner?" he asked her.

"That sounds good," Brennan's smile was the one she reserved especially for him in these quiet, personal moments they shared together. She reached to turn her computer off and stood to join him. As they made their way through the shadowy halls of the Jeffersonian, Booth felt her hand slip inside of his and he held it firmly as they walked out together into the night.


End file.
